The Language of Self-Trust

How small moments teach us to stay with ourselves

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Photo by Jo Szczepanska on Unsplash

Self-trust is believing that our responses, both physical and emotional, matter, and that they’re trying to tell us something. It’s honouring all parts of ourselves. It’s knowing we can trust our inner guidance to shape our lives, because there is profound wisdom in us if we learn to be still and listen.

Self-trust is the confidence that our inner experience—our feelings, intuition, and values—is valid and worth listening to. It’s the quiet knowing that we can turn inward, and what we find there will guide us well.

I remember sitting with my therapist one day, sharing that sometimes while I’m working my "day job," I feel overwhelming waves of sadness washing over me, as if my insides are crying. My therapist looked at me and asked, "What do you do when these waves come?" I responded, "Nothing. I keep working. I ignore it." Then she asked, "What would it take for you to stop, pay attention, and make space for these emotions?"

Sitting with that question, I realized I didn’t know. It had been a long time since I allowed myself to accept my emotions without rationalizing them away. As my therapist wisely questioned my reaction to feelings of overwhelming sadness, I find myself asking, "What is self-trust? And what happens when it slips away?"

Self-trust can be compromised in various ways, from innocent comments to direct insults. Criticism can leave us feeling inadequate or excluded, making us question our convictions. Accumulated negative messages can foster internalized shame, leading us to think we’re “too much,” “not enough,” or “unworthy.” This erosion of self-trust impacts our self-worth, causing us to second-guess ourselves and seek external validation, which complicates decision-making.

Consequently, we become disconnected from our true selves, prioritizing others' expectations over our own needs and desires. We overlook our inherent value and wisdom, ultimately losing sight of who we are in the process.

That moment in my therapist's office was a turning point for me. I began to question why I ignored my emotions, tried to justify them away, and constantly doubted what I was feeling. Most importantly, I asked myself how I could start choosing myself in those moments.

When we lose trust in ourselves, we become fragmented and disconnected. However, by accepting all parts of ourselves, we can work toward wholeness. The journey of self-trust involves accepting every aspect of our being—without judgment, diminishing, or hiding any part of ourselves. It means fully embracing all of our internal experiences.

Learning to listen to our bodies, honouring the emotions that arise, and becoming still enough to hear the wisdom within us is essential. This is the journey back to self-trust and the way we honour ourselves again.

Self-trust comes when we choose to embrace who we are. When we nurture and fully accept ourselves, honouring our feelings, we find freedom. This happens when we listen to our body, our emotions, and the voice deep within us. When we hold ourselves close and whisper, "You matter to me."

Now, when I feel a wave of sadness come over me, I acknowledge it. I welcome it, take a moment to sit with it, and breathe into it. I pause whatever I am doing to be present with my feelings, perhaps placing my hand on my heart and saying to myself, "I am here." These small actions create a language of trust and reinforce the understanding that my lived experience matters.

That is true freedom.

The quiet trust that I will always be there for myself, no matter what.

With warmth & gratitude,
Brooke.